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A Case of Flirt and Run

We’ve all met someone like that.  A person who’s in a bar, or perhaps a club, for the sole purpose of having you buy drinks for them.  Preferably, several different you’s, as sharing too much of the...

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Something Else to Drink with Your Vodka

Vodka is a very popular mixing drink. You can mix it with just about anything. Coca Cola, orange juice, grenadine, vermouth, cranberry juice, you name it, you can probably mix it.  Going out this...

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The Phoniest Nightclub Line in Chicago

Recently, I was detoured by a couple of semi-reformed club kids to one of Chicago’s allegedly hotter and trendier clubs. Fortunately, Paris Hilton was not in attendance that night, but there was plenty...

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Attack of the Oompa-Loompa Busboys

When last we left this particular escapade, myself and two aging club kids had just bribed our way into one of Chicago’s allegedly hotter nightclubs, despite a really silly excuse for an entrance line....

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The Things You Find on the Floors of Bars

Perhaps you’ve seen The Matrix?  It was a fairly popular movie.  Popular enough to have spawn all sorts of essays on philosophy and the meaning of “take the red pill.”  I found an alternate...

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Two Women in the Men’s Room

I was sitting at the bar, feeling the weight of world on my shoulders.  No, that’s not quite correct.  I was feeling the weight of the world on my bladder.  So I went to the Men’s Room, and did...

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An Anti-Valentine: The Girl Who Stopped My Watch

There are some people you’re just not destined to get along with. There’s a particularly grating young lady who falls into that category for me. You know the type: One of her parents is European,...

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The Birth Control Show-Off

It was an altogether too quiet Saturday night and I was chatting with the bouncer when a group of three people walked into the bar. Two women and a man. The man and one of the women looked familiar, so...

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